Let Go !!

How you think that things would have turned out differently? What played? Time ? Circumstances? People? May be, but the truth is you cannot control all these things , you can’t rule time, you can’t make circumstances and you cannot change people. But what you can actually and totally do is your Effort . The Effort to make things go your way

Such an idealistic thought right , I mean who doesn’t know this? It is something straight out of the Book.

I am not against it , I mean I really appreciate it and I do remember watching a movie where a couple was breaking up and finally when the guy lands in front of the girl’s house , he meets her father and tells him that he is ready to do everything to win her back . You know what that Father said, “Son, You don’t have to everything you just have to do whatever it takes”. I was taken aback by the simplicity of the wisdom of the Father. The dialogue was really Bang On , an “A Pointer”.

But and yes my friends there is a but in the situation, what these wise movie fathers or uncles (advisers) do not know is how to keep the conviction of reaching your goal alive? Its not like clearing an IAS, IES exam because the goals there are static but families and relations or people for that matter are not static entities. And because they are not static entities they respond back to your efforts (or whatever you do) or in the worst case do not respond at all.  If they respond back favourably like in the case of the movie (well yea he did win the girl back) you are a winner , if they respond negatively that also paves your path to your further actions,  like the father said do whatever it takes it helps you plan what you should do and what you shouldnt, but if they do not respond at all my friends that is where you have the biggest problem.

Now,  How do you know that whatever you have been doing is right or wrong and that you need to change it? You don’t. But you still chose to believe in yourself , initially it’s a good belief , it’s a source of your encouragement , its your faith that you know that whatever you have been doing is right. But how long do you think is it going to last , this belief , this blind faith. How long do you think you can continue to assume the other people’s reaction , wish , concurrence or non concurrence and then base your further encouragement on your assumptions. Not long. It hits you  and then you realize that while everything else has been in a static mode (non motion, non reaction) you like a child kept on clinging to the situation all by yourself without any real encouragement or support. To me my friends this is where your sincere effort should end. Stop the parade. Because even if you end up having it somehow this realization that you were in it all by yourself is going to take a hit again and you will lose the charm of the entire thing , you may have it , you will keep it but you may not appreciate it as much as it did not appreciate you in your struggle.

Its good you know,  being self aware , being cent percent sure of your choices , being able to put your efforts for them but believe me not everything is worth going crazy. So stop giving yourself a hard time and move on because as I always say;

A new idea a new feel in an unknown place and an unknown street,

All strangers around but what can they really see? You are as happy as you choose to be.

Signing off

NEHA CHAUHAN

SOMETHING BORROWED

Days in and days out,

A swarm of mob that can make you pout.

A desire to close your eyes to be in your oasis ,

But as you open them back ,the life is back to crisis .

You take a deep breath but even that fails your peace,

You rest your head back and shrink your crease.

Friends, almost everyone of us  has been in a state of mind where we feel alone in the middle of a big crowd  and all we want to do is to get away just to feel a little comfort. The extreme of this feeling is something really hard to explain but if you have ever seen a few months old baby going through physical pain but feeble enuff to cry his lungs out , and if you offer him a little warmth of your palm, you will notice that the poor kid will involuntarily try to shrink in your palm just to feel the comfort of being there. 

We all have been in a stage where whenever we feel down we  look upto the person who can make it go away be it be a friend or a family but that is as i said what we chose on our own , that is what is voluntary . 

Being completely in a stage of self awareness , a stage where we exactly know what we want to keep us happy we actually are losing the kid in us who can still feel the undemanded comfort from unexpected or even at times from unwelcomed people  only because we can not see it anymore. Being self righteous all the tym we myt end up getting what we want but it myt not be what we need at that time.

So, next time when you find yourself in a place full of unwanted people when all you want to be is to get away from any person known let alone unknown , 

Open your ears and open your eyes,

Hear them chat louder and don't consider it noise.

Look at them smile and laugh and look at them fight,

There wil b so much to observe that you will laugh and u will be in for a surprise.

When a bright smile of a stranger takes you away from yourself,

The giggles and jokes of a group of people make you feel like you are still twelve.

The self  in you is forgotten and still an incredulous smile is followed,

Then you know that is not you, that is something on you that is borrowed.

Such happiness is small and at times stupid and meaningless . It might just be a weak moment of a very strong self dependent person . Its ok to be weak or to let your uncontrolled involuntary side take over you at times because after all it's as they say a little rain to make the pain go away is enough.

For years and years of being an individual i have learnt  that no wonder those are the best times when  happiness knocks at your doorstep but for others ,Friends , you have to reach out for it.

Dedicated to all my friends and all those people who believe:-

The richest of all is the one who tries,

Because Happiness is nothing but just a CHOICE.

Signing off

Neha Chauhan

Talk about life talk about its crust and as you watch  all the importants rust, 

the life goes on with a single emotion and you walk down straight forgetting all your firsts..

A road to living but not to life,

 you chose it because it has minimum strife..

It's a single road , the road to living,

The road to motion the one that keeps you going..

You choose it you move it you walk in its light,

And that how it's done,  thats Your goal set right..

You forget about the right you forget about the wrong,

the only thing you remember is that you want to move on..

Marking a halt taking a detour,

that is not really a luxury of poor..

It takes some courage it takes some time,

 but more than that it takes the ability to rebel from one’s mind..

So you look at the world and keep up the steps,

Because they are again the better judge..

For all the practical reasons you live in your own plight,

And yeahh that’s how you live without a speck of life .

Signing off

Neha Chauhan

Oh Rain !! The Rain !!

As the drip drop starts and the tires splash,

People run for hideouts as they clash,

I take a halt and let it flow,

 Oh RAIN the RAIN, come and let me soak.

As the wind that sharpens like an edgy knife,

People crimp their shoulders and gather children and wife,

I let the body loose and take a breath so deep,

and in an instant I know its an embrace to keep.

The body shudders and shivers in joy,

 and all I know , it’s the Nature’s way to say “HI” ,

A greeting acknowledged by every single bone,

 Oh RAIN the RAIN come and let me loan.

Come and let me loan a moment of life,

A moment filled with freshness and youth so bright.

A moment of joy, a moment of fun,

A moment filled with laughter and  the one filled with pun.

A moment that reminds of a dense forest from an uphill sliding curtains,

A distant cry of joy in some serene misty mountains.

 A moment where one lives the juvenility of life with splashing  water and  paper boats,

 Jumping in water unless one completely soaks.

Moments so minor, moments so lost,

Moments forgotten at all the cost,

Oh RAIN the RAIN come and let me please,

And let me feel as you wash all my tussles with ease.

And as you drop on the leveled ground, with a rhythmic yet so prominent pounce,

Let that be a melody so pronounced that it deafens me from all my inner sounds.

So RAIN oh RAIN come and let me see,

 Absolute nothingness in my moment of peace.

An Observation to the Insight

If you have ever traveled in a local train you would have realized and believe me all the non travelers that you would realize it even if you try with all your might not to face it , that it always makes a rumbling noise which is not only irritating but in many times deafening as hell . . Nevertheless you will find numerous people with their music on ear phones plugged in so tightly into their ears that it always made me wonder what exactly is it that they are hearing in this rumble. Being an ardent music appreciator i somehow never could accept it rather every time I watched them I WAS AMUSED. .

Music as the soul for your emotions is not over rated. . Give someone some time to kill and a headset. . He is bound to resort to it and i am no exception. . I wouldn’t deny initially like others even i was trying to listen to what should have been there i.e. how the song was meant to b heard how the music director had carved it. . With volume super high I tried to clutch on to every beat n every word in order to grab d exact essence of the song. . Until today. .

Friends if you have ever attempted to sleep in a running lecture amidst all your friends chatting, having their lunches and the desperate attempts of the teacher to speak just for the heck of speaking in order to avoid any embarrassing round of questions you would have known that as soon as you advance towards your slumber the voices adjacent to you i.e. your friends’ voice phase out more quickly than that of the teacher. . n there comes a moment when in your subconscious self you only hear the most distant voice murmur whereas every other voice near u die out n within few minutes u r shamelessly n completely sleeping in the class . . Well that is not the point here. . My point is today when I plugged in my ear phones and sat down in the train half dizzy coz of Monday blues and half coz. . Well it was chilly outside n I was comfortably warm. .in that sub conscious I picked up one of the very nice observations. The rumble of the train semi rhythmic, unplanned, fierce and unthoughtful blended so effortlessly with the so called well thought and planned music that the songs almost got a new rhythm. .it stopped feeling like a hindrance rather it became a part of the entire music. .it was like a mix of what should be there and what actually is there.

The most important thing to notice here is that your state of mind at this stage represents something very rare and something really inevitable and it is ‘ACCEPTANCE’. If you will be any more awake you will again thrive for perfection, the perfect rhythm the perfect beats and you will be disappointed by every unwelcomed noise. .if you will be any more unconscious it will only be the gurgle of rumble that you will hear until you are sleepy dead. So what is it? It sure is a balance, it sure is soothing. . But it isn’t what you wanted, the real music. .

Life as beautifully thought and carved by you is like a song with perfect rhythm perfect voice no intrusion no hurdle but unfortunately that is only subjective .The rumble metaphorically represents every hurdle you face n they are unavoidable. The balance represents the efforts you put in to achieve an equilibrium between what you want and what you have and that balance is your Trade Off i.e. where you want to settle. The more effort you put the more close you are to what you want , the more you slack the more lost you are .But not in any case can you be happy or real if you decline the existence of either of the two states.

So friends never under estimate the power of acceptance …you can only move on when you can acknowledge and bear the adversaries. . You can only bear them when you are not in denial of their existence.

Never under estimate your capability to find your equilibrium coz it will automatically set to the stage where you give up and u will always b an under achiever with frustration and anger and believe me they are only surface emotions.

Struggle for balance is only what is real in life n what you trigger every second in very decision you make... And that is the only thing that has the capability of oozing the deepest sentiment that can ever relate to your conscience i.e. satisfaction.

Friends,

A battle lost, a battle won

A living dead, a death undone

A deafening roar or a silent turn

A fully aware self or ignorance

They all halt at your level of acceptance.

AN AFFAIR WITH THE LIFE- THE PHOENIX

You have been there. . And just in that one hour of hell you have felt all sorts of human frailties and desperations that can ever be felt, drunk with fear and need .

NEED the most basic need of somebody who is worth to see you breaking down being there,

FEAR the most basic fear of exposing this side of yours to someone who is just not worth it merely out of desperation.

You cried your heart out . . you clutched your mobile thousand times to see if someone could reach you for diversion out of sheer luck , but having no guts to reach anybody with the fear of giving away . . Its true how resilience can be the biggest pain at times. . How the sense of righteousness can be the fuel to that pain but its amusing that to what UnGodly level that truth can still hold. . But above all it is commendable that how you can keep all this to yourself. . Believe me Friends being Dependent is the worst punishment you can give to yourself. . So you live or fairly endure that one hour with nothing but your soul beside you. .and then eventually Its like an era of all the sentiments froze upon you. It is like you have felt all there is to be felt. . There is just no feeling left that can claim your psyche and penetrate up to your heart . .no voice reaches your ears, no touch makes you feel alive. . It is like the biggest SENSE of Numbness of The Mind has taken over all your senses. .Iit takes few minutes for that stupor to break down and you know what comes out of that stupor. . A SENSE OF TRIUMPH. .It is so Godly that nothing can reach you at that moment let alone drag you to feel . . a sense that you haven’t let yourself down . . That you are not disappointed in yourself. . That you have been there for yourself. .and above Everything that YOU DESERVE TO BE YOURSLEF.

Friends,

An affair with the life doesn’t start with your first crush or relation but it starts with your first breath . a connection so deep that it penetrates the deepest corners of your physical and conscientious self. With every second passed, with every realization made you live a new BREATH. what is more to live .. if not a life .. What is more to claim.. if not YOUR life ?

Its more slender than the beauty you have eyes on , its slenderness goes with every curve that you stretch.

With every smile that you can pass and every compliment that you fetch..

With every second of brooding and every minute of perseverance..

Its there and its there adding a base to your existence..

You cannot put it aside you cannot name it..

Its one thing that is ideally and completely yours BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN CLAIM IT.

It began when Life chose you and now when you chose her..

For me towards the journey of life, this is yet another step closer..One more step closer..

A Load Off ..

Life is like a set of paradox clubbed together .you are supposed to be happy but not gallivanting. You are supposed to appreciate beauty and spontaneity but stay away from inebriated beauties. You are supposed to feel but not show, lock it up. You are supposed to be SELFLESSLY HAPPY (see what I mean??).well I wonder if that state really exists. Aren’t you supposed to be happy first in order to make the other person swept by your glorious charm? (yeah I know sarcasm is indigenous to me) Well sure you smile involuntary at a laughing baby.. Sure you feel full and light after helping a 60s cross a road, but the truth is all these feelings are like reading upcoming DU Novelists after Ayn Rand (with no offence to them ,they are doing a great job).. they are like Flings ..they come.. Exhilarate you for a moment.. and they are gone before you even blink your eye. They can be felt and enjoyed for a short while but they cannot be lived..so fellas now what you are actually left with and believe me this is the ugly part is the stark reality with its extant guidelines constantly messing with your head. What should I do of my Boss sucking the life outta me? MBA or job?money money money ? social life? Politics at work place? Family? Mahnn I feel like donkey.. and yes the best one for the last ..Is my gf too hot for me? Wait this one is even better.. was my previous gf better than this one? Dun even let me start on girls there CRAPPED ZONE is way bigger than guys varying from a dress disaster to juggling families and supporting lives and honestly they should be given a medal for that.

What I have mentioned here as levities are different forms of dilemmas and insecurities messing with our heads like an EMI ,only difference being that at least EMI has the courtesy to be due only once a month. So Guys.. When was the last time we were completely happy? I am not talking about “its weekend and its beer time “happiness but about sitting alone n feeling all set, confident, relieved, jus no worry at all happiness.

PS- exclude people who are freshly in love (they are all bombed, it’s like nirvana of happiness..Sweet or cheesy? Could never figure it out)

Please include all the people who have started working after college and are above puppy love phase.

And yet we ride the life with narrowed horizons, increasing responsibilities, monotony and hypocrisy. Is it confusion or a Nail in the butt convenience..too scared about it getting deep and too lax for the effort to get it out.

Whatever it is .. it will take more of actions and less of thinking and apparently I am too tired for both right now. All I can say is GUD Luck guys .. leap your bit and end your dilemmas.

No fancy words this time probably no poetic endings..

sheer thoughts intertwined with nothing condescending.

A subdued spirit peeping out ready to break off..

a silent corner, a laptop and a running blog..

it might sound vague, it might not lift any fog..

by all means its just a load off.. a mere load off..

SIGNING OFF.