The Purpose

Your sensitivity is a portal to your inner self . One should ask why is it that we naturally carry all negative emotions, experiences  more deeply and for longer periods than positive ones ?  We project all positives outward, in order to share them and to maximise their experience but we project all negatives, inward, in silence and in introspection . 
It is by design, we are designed to look inwards , because the real journey is the one that is inwards . The day we start observing and understanding our inner self completely and accept it as it is and start remaining in complete awareness of it , that is the day when all the internal conflicts of ‘what it is’ and ‘what it should be’ end . ‘What it is’, ( it is neither good , nor bad but it is the fact !  The biggest fact of one’s life ) and one should always remain in acknowledgement and awareness of it and move from there . 
Discomforts  ,fears , failures or anything  that disconnect us from the outside world albeit momentarily,  ultimately make us start an inward inquiry into our internal self. Everything that exists outside ( jobs , relations , the life  )  is a mere distraction or a means to ‘experiences’ that enable us to keep making those inward inquiries. 
So one may ask what is the meaning of our current reality ? Our current reality is nothing but the chaos that we have created in our current state of existence . To understand this , one has to understand the ‘Non Existent’. Our current reality is as temporary as it will be in the state of our non existence ( death) . All of it can dissolve for us in an instant upon death. 
So what is life about ? Life is about aligning all our actions in alignment with our inner self , ending all internal conflicts ,basking in the state of our existence.  Because when we give a chance to our inner self to thrive like this , it leads us to more discoveries in ourselves  and leads us to our higher conscious self.
What is this higher conscious self ? One can view the higher conscious self as an out of body experience. Imagine being in a conversation with someone and recall , when you were part of that conversation but were still able to view and experience it from the lens of a third person simultaneously. The higher conscious self is the observer of your inner self. Not of the one that you project outwards as what you should be ( the one that has went through years of social conditioning ) not that , but of the de - facto self which is untouched and can not be changed , it just exists .  Being in touch with your higher conscious self  is what it means to be in a state of complete awareness of your inner self. Complete awareness and acceptance of your inner self is what peace feels like . Being able to take actions that can maintain that peace is what freedom feels like . And , One should always be free.

Signing off 
Neha Chauhan

On Bahubali 2 - The Conclusion

Congratulations Rajamouli for creating a cinematic experience so grand and full of chivalry . Congratulations on depicting a part of our culture with such grandeur and sentiment , whether it was the iconic moment of Bahubali the beginning when Prabhas lifted the Shivalinga with shiva tandav strotam powerfully resonating in the background or the opening moment of Bahubali the conclusion where he made an unleashed elephant bow in front of Lord Ganesha's idol . Congratulations for making people feel gratified by bowing to their culture  and deity for once and not by making fun of them . Congratulations for creating characters - all of them - stronger than one's conviction and larger than life . It was not all practical , it was not all logical and it was not all correct . But it was all visually gratifying . It was like a master story teller lost in his own creative world creating a extraordinary narrative out of actually an ordinary one . Yes it was an ordinary story . Half expected . But the key lies in the way the story is told hitting the right sentiments , hitting the right mind . It reminded me of my grandfather and the way he used to teach us Ramayan and Mahabharat , the way he used to explain  the Kaurav Pandhav yudha. The way how Abhimanyu took out the wheel of a large horse chariot to make it his weapon . Incredulous then and this is incredulous now . But I enjoyed it then and I enjoyed your story now just like a child would .Congratulations Rajamouli - for making our men fight like Gods on screen . Congratulations for carrying such high expectations from I would say a large mass of people ( not all for sure  ) and not disappointing .  At the end My compliments  to IMAX and Dolby . I would not have had it any other way .

The movie was all symbolic , the movie was all vision , it was all a man's imagination and it was all dialogues .and it was about the feel  And that is how I would cherish it .

Neha Chauhan

To Love and Peace

It's time now . I am back to the same room ,my room , my balcony overlooking the kids making a racket despite the odd hour ( there are pluses to be living in a closed society u see) overlooking the cars getting parked from my balcony one by one filling up all the empty spaces like completing a large jigsaw puzzle .I own the objects of this room ,everything is placed as per my order or disorder whatever one may like to call it . This is my space . But this time my mind and my heart are just not at peace. I try my tested ways . I concentrate on a single visual object to digress and tame my mind but all in vain . There is something amiss. But it's odd , after the marathon of my life that I had in the last month; I got married last month;  this is not what I had imagined i would be like once it will all be over ( the craziness of the preparations ; just like most families we are also a nuclear family with limited hands)  . So I had been expecting a supreme peace of mind once I would be back to myself but strangely my surroundings are calmer than my mind today.

I relook at the events of last month .I relook at the pace at which the things were moving forward . The feeling was like flowing in a river. The more You resist the more troublesome it is to survive and the moment You let go and surrender to the current the easier it is to flow and above all you enjoy the effortlessness of the situation . So after trying to micro manage things which were in and beyond my control I did let go . And then they came all at once the fun filled moments , happy smiles ,and the worried look on my father's face that somehow he always managed to convert into a big warm smile every time I approached him with a situation at hand . The practical nature of my brother trying to balance the oddities he generally considers useless but were important for me at that time . The sleepless nights my sister had , the meticulous planning my mother and Bhabhi did . A set of friends who kept everything at hold just to be with me . I feel grateful to them and I feel grateful to the new people who have accepted me so kindly. Everything seems sorted in this department of feelings , so what is this restlessness. I am clueless.

I try another tested way I resort to a lifeline ; phone of friend . We talk for hours . Useless , ungiving , unyielding stuff. And we laugh . It makes me feel how everything in me is still the same and how I am still the very person who used to sit here for hours with a book in a hand and an adrak Wali chai next to me . I hang up and to my utmost surprise it does not go away , the restlessness that is. I just do not understand .

And then it happens , Below at some distance I see a couple walking hand in hand and it makes me miss my man. And the moment I think about him all the uneasiness and the inexplicable restlessness goes away in seconds . I don't feel the urge to call him. I don't even need to hear his voice . The fact that he is there is more than enough and it calms me down.

Cheers To Having a Good Man in your life .

Signing off
Neha Chauhan

The Rooftop

Adhar mai hai latka ye dil kuch akela hai

Jo ooper dekhun to siyaah raat hai or neeche roshni ka mela hai 

Machalti har lau ne ek saaz sa cheda hai 

Door kahin chalta sheher hai or yahan kuch sukoon ka basera hai

Aisi khamoshi mai sath ek khamosh sa dost hai 

Aisi tanhayee mai ek behad tanha sa yaar hai

Choo jati hain Mann ko  zara wo uski jhakjhorti si nazrein hain

Wo uska chup sa andaaz hai or  wo bahadur si muskaan hai

Hai kaabil e tareef wo zindagi k ehsaas batane ka uska andaz hai 

Or kabhi kabhi kuch na keh kar bhi  poora attention le le uski ye adaa kuch khaas hai 

Hain chuppi ki dor se bandhe hum ek choti si chath pe baithe

Kuch wo akela sukoon mai laga  or kuch hum shayarana nikle 

K hain to dono sath par na hulchul karne ki koi jaldi hai or na abhi savera hai 

Door kahin chalta sheher hai or yahan bass  sukoon ka basera hai 

In remembrance of the times at The peacock rooftop restaurant ( Pink city ) with Lishki Sehgal ( the friend you pack your bags with and set out of the house in search of some adventure and some meaning in life together) 

Signing off
Neha Chauhan

The Mighty Woods !!

                                                        

For how long I waited , for how long I stood,
With my sight touching the sky , Oh the mighty woods !!

Your parched trunk and your drying greens,
 I know you long for the rains as I long for my dreams.

But my dear friend ,the rains are still far,
I know that because last night I left my window ajar.

The moisture wasnt riding the wind and there was no scent,
I know you rustled your leaves last night till your stems were bent.

Something in me cried for you and brought me close,
To the lonely path and the only stairs that opens to your door.

The path was long and the journey was endless,
I stood admiring your beauty all entranced and all breathless.

Your graceful tall and your solitary stay,
I saw your patience at every turn as i meandered my way.

But dear friend don’t wait, i told you the rains are still far,
I know that because last night i left my window ajar.

For a moment i forgot the reason why i was there,
Was it to be in your grim or was it for my share,
For my friend in Solitude there is no end to your charm,
Coz a single walk in you totally handed me to my calm.

For how long i waited , for how long i stood
With my sight touching the sky , Oh you the  mighty woods !!

In remembrance of Sanjay Gandhi National Park, Mumbai

Signing Off

Neha Chauhan

In the Footsteps of HINDI

बहुत उम्मीद...

बहुत उम्मीद से एक एक चेहरे को परखते हैं
कोई खुशियों को सुलगा दे ग़मों की राख को छू कर

बदलते हर नए रुखसार पर बनाते हैं नए किस्से
कोई किस्सों को कहानी मे बदल दे हाथ से छू कर

ठहरते हैं नहीं , कभी, किसी की, मासूम गुस्ताखियों पर भी
मगर, बदलते इस ज़माने मे किसी से ठहराव चाहते हैं

हैं चाहते के वो मेरी परछाईं हो कहीं से तो
पर सवालों शक के बादल को कभी छंटने नहीं देते

संभाले घूमते हैं दिल को ले कर कैद पिंजरे में
बिना खोले करे आज़ाद कोई चाभी को हाथ न ले  कर

बहुत उम्मीद से एक एक चेहरे को परखते हैं
कोई खुशियों को सुलगा दे ग़मों की राख को छू कर

Signing Off
Neha Chauhan
10.56 PM (08.09.2015)

THE MOON(less) NIGHT !!

A scenic edge and a distant light
With the moon at its prime; Oh The lovely night !!
A willful sea that is roaring high
And the solid banks bearing the sea with their might

Standing at the corner watching the entire ordeal
With the moon enchanting the sea to hit the banks with a force so real
The sea sycophantic to follow the moon in its prowl
Hits the very rocks that define the boundary of its control

You stand amused watching this destructive romance
The surrender of the tides to the moon in command

The strength of the rocks and their silent penance

And once again it’s the resilient one that is tested even on a platform so grand

You peep into your heart and assess the tides of your soul
Ready to lose the boundaries, ready to lose control
Resilience and a prudent Reticence; You strengthen your rocks with your might
Smiling and assured you turn your back waiting for that one Night and one sight
For you know and yes you know that even a sea can be tamed on a moonless Night.

Signing Off

Neha Chauhan 

(In remembrance of Marine Drive - Mumbai)