An Observation to the Insight

If you have ever traveled in a local train you would have realized and believe me all the non travelers that you would realize it even if you try with all your might not to face it , that it always makes a rumbling noise which is not only irritating but in many times deafening as hell . . Nevertheless you will find numerous people with their music on ear phones plugged in so tightly into their ears that it always made me wonder what exactly is it that they are hearing in this rumble. Being an ardent music appreciator i somehow never could accept it rather every time I watched them I WAS AMUSED. .

Music as the soul for your emotions is not over rated. . Give someone some time to kill and a headset. . He is bound to resort to it and i am no exception. . I wouldn’t deny initially like others even i was trying to listen to what should have been there i.e. how the song was meant to b heard how the music director had carved it. . With volume super high I tried to clutch on to every beat n every word in order to grab d exact essence of the song. . Until today. .

Friends if you have ever attempted to sleep in a running lecture amidst all your friends chatting, having their lunches and the desperate attempts of the teacher to speak just for the heck of speaking in order to avoid any embarrassing round of questions you would have known that as soon as you advance towards your slumber the voices adjacent to you i.e. your friends’ voice phase out more quickly than that of the teacher. . n there comes a moment when in your subconscious self you only hear the most distant voice murmur whereas every other voice near u die out n within few minutes u r shamelessly n completely sleeping in the class . . Well that is not the point here. . My point is today when I plugged in my ear phones and sat down in the train half dizzy coz of Monday blues and half coz. . Well it was chilly outside n I was comfortably warm. .in that sub conscious I picked up one of the very nice observations. The rumble of the train semi rhythmic, unplanned, fierce and unthoughtful blended so effortlessly with the so called well thought and planned music that the songs almost got a new rhythm. .it stopped feeling like a hindrance rather it became a part of the entire music. .it was like a mix of what should be there and what actually is there.

The most important thing to notice here is that your state of mind at this stage represents something very rare and something really inevitable and it is ‘ACCEPTANCE’. If you will be any more awake you will again thrive for perfection, the perfect rhythm the perfect beats and you will be disappointed by every unwelcomed noise. .if you will be any more unconscious it will only be the gurgle of rumble that you will hear until you are sleepy dead. So what is it? It sure is a balance, it sure is soothing. . But it isn’t what you wanted, the real music. .

Life as beautifully thought and carved by you is like a song with perfect rhythm perfect voice no intrusion no hurdle but unfortunately that is only subjective .The rumble metaphorically represents every hurdle you face n they are unavoidable. The balance represents the efforts you put in to achieve an equilibrium between what you want and what you have and that balance is your Trade Off i.e. where you want to settle. The more effort you put the more close you are to what you want , the more you slack the more lost you are .But not in any case can you be happy or real if you decline the existence of either of the two states.

So friends never under estimate the power of acceptance …you can only move on when you can acknowledge and bear the adversaries. . You can only bear them when you are not in denial of their existence.

Never under estimate your capability to find your equilibrium coz it will automatically set to the stage where you give up and u will always b an under achiever with frustration and anger and believe me they are only surface emotions.

Struggle for balance is only what is real in life n what you trigger every second in very decision you make... And that is the only thing that has the capability of oozing the deepest sentiment that can ever relate to your conscience i.e. satisfaction.

Friends,

A battle lost, a battle won

A living dead, a death undone

A deafening roar or a silent turn

A fully aware self or ignorance

They all halt at your level of acceptance.

AN AFFAIR WITH THE LIFE- THE PHOENIX

You have been there. . And just in that one hour of hell you have felt all sorts of human frailties and desperations that can ever be felt, drunk with fear and need .

NEED the most basic need of somebody who is worth to see you breaking down being there,

FEAR the most basic fear of exposing this side of yours to someone who is just not worth it merely out of desperation.

You cried your heart out . . you clutched your mobile thousand times to see if someone could reach you for diversion out of sheer luck , but having no guts to reach anybody with the fear of giving away . . Its true how resilience can be the biggest pain at times. . How the sense of righteousness can be the fuel to that pain but its amusing that to what UnGodly level that truth can still hold. . But above all it is commendable that how you can keep all this to yourself. . Believe me Friends being Dependent is the worst punishment you can give to yourself. . So you live or fairly endure that one hour with nothing but your soul beside you. .and then eventually Its like an era of all the sentiments froze upon you. It is like you have felt all there is to be felt. . There is just no feeling left that can claim your psyche and penetrate up to your heart . .no voice reaches your ears, no touch makes you feel alive. . It is like the biggest SENSE of Numbness of The Mind has taken over all your senses. .Iit takes few minutes for that stupor to break down and you know what comes out of that stupor. . A SENSE OF TRIUMPH. .It is so Godly that nothing can reach you at that moment let alone drag you to feel . . a sense that you haven’t let yourself down . . That you are not disappointed in yourself. . That you have been there for yourself. .and above Everything that YOU DESERVE TO BE YOURSLEF.

Friends,

An affair with the life doesn’t start with your first crush or relation but it starts with your first breath . a connection so deep that it penetrates the deepest corners of your physical and conscientious self. With every second passed, with every realization made you live a new BREATH. what is more to live .. if not a life .. What is more to claim.. if not YOUR life ?

Its more slender than the beauty you have eyes on , its slenderness goes with every curve that you stretch.

With every smile that you can pass and every compliment that you fetch..

With every second of brooding and every minute of perseverance..

Its there and its there adding a base to your existence..

You cannot put it aside you cannot name it..

Its one thing that is ideally and completely yours BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN CLAIM IT.

It began when Life chose you and now when you chose her..

For me towards the journey of life, this is yet another step closer..One more step closer..

A Load Off ..

Life is like a set of paradox clubbed together .you are supposed to be happy but not gallivanting. You are supposed to appreciate beauty and spontaneity but stay away from inebriated beauties. You are supposed to feel but not show, lock it up. You are supposed to be SELFLESSLY HAPPY (see what I mean??).well I wonder if that state really exists. Aren’t you supposed to be happy first in order to make the other person swept by your glorious charm? (yeah I know sarcasm is indigenous to me) Well sure you smile involuntary at a laughing baby.. Sure you feel full and light after helping a 60s cross a road, but the truth is all these feelings are like reading upcoming DU Novelists after Ayn Rand (with no offence to them ,they are doing a great job).. they are like Flings ..they come.. Exhilarate you for a moment.. and they are gone before you even blink your eye. They can be felt and enjoyed for a short while but they cannot be lived..so fellas now what you are actually left with and believe me this is the ugly part is the stark reality with its extant guidelines constantly messing with your head. What should I do of my Boss sucking the life outta me? MBA or job?money money money ? social life? Politics at work place? Family? Mahnn I feel like donkey.. and yes the best one for the last ..Is my gf too hot for me? Wait this one is even better.. was my previous gf better than this one? Dun even let me start on girls there CRAPPED ZONE is way bigger than guys varying from a dress disaster to juggling families and supporting lives and honestly they should be given a medal for that.

What I have mentioned here as levities are different forms of dilemmas and insecurities messing with our heads like an EMI ,only difference being that at least EMI has the courtesy to be due only once a month. So Guys.. When was the last time we were completely happy? I am not talking about “its weekend and its beer time “happiness but about sitting alone n feeling all set, confident, relieved, jus no worry at all happiness.

PS- exclude people who are freshly in love (they are all bombed, it’s like nirvana of happiness..Sweet or cheesy? Could never figure it out)

Please include all the people who have started working after college and are above puppy love phase.

And yet we ride the life with narrowed horizons, increasing responsibilities, monotony and hypocrisy. Is it confusion or a Nail in the butt convenience..too scared about it getting deep and too lax for the effort to get it out.

Whatever it is .. it will take more of actions and less of thinking and apparently I am too tired for both right now. All I can say is GUD Luck guys .. leap your bit and end your dilemmas.

No fancy words this time probably no poetic endings..

sheer thoughts intertwined with nothing condescending.

A subdued spirit peeping out ready to break off..

a silent corner, a laptop and a running blog..

it might sound vague, it might not lift any fog..

by all means its just a load off.. a mere load off..

SIGNING OFF.

JUST SOMETHING

A solemn heart, a little solitude and a silence that echoes and is so pronouncing that you desperately crave for THE silence but it just dies in the irony of it.

There is no itch involved and there is no confusing it. It’s a mere introspection. Its lived upon, thought upon but its nothing judgmental but rather accepted. There is nothing to be sad about or exactly happy about, guess even stagnation is a major part of your life

You lie down looking at the roof with everything and nothing... you smile every time you catch yourself recapturing the good times , you retrospect on everything that went wrong, you think about that its never too late . But believe me sometimes it actually is .

Friends,

The innocence of a juvenile laughter, the expression in solemn eyes, the subtlety of a confident maneuver, the sincerity of an earnest heart, the resilience of an unspoken mind, .. Not everything good in this world can be captured with your life and likewise nor is the spontaneity of a relation.

So,

When you look back and a smile is all you get out of all the memories than its worth accepting the fact that even if its not present in your life anymore but it still is good because it makes you smile more than it can ever hurt.

This one is for all my friends. .

It might not be in the eyes, it might not be in the face

But it might Piece your heart like a big disgrace..

It cannot be expressed in words; it might be a long gone phase

But it still nurtures your heart like a warm embrace..